Mate Me, Hate Me, Date Me, Love Me releases in a few hours and I wanted to write a celebration post. I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I am because I never believed this book would be finished. But it is. It will release. The ARCs are sent out, the book is uploaded to Amazon and ARe. Everything is ready to go.
BUT, while I’m happy, I’m more. I’m tired. So very tired. I’ve been pushing myself, writing three to four hours every day, at night, when the kids are in bed, in the mornings, before they get up. Whenever I had time. I know, three to four hours doesn’t sound much, but it is when you have a household, two kids and a 30 hour work week. For me, it’s a lot. Too much.
I love it, don’t get me wrong, but lately, it’s become a burden. Mate Me, Hate Me, Date Me, Love Me drained me. I read it so many times, I couldn’t see the words anymore. I edited it to hell and back. I played around with the cover, with the content, with everything. This book has grown on me, I love it dearly, but while I’m ready to release it to the world (I couldn’t stop it now anyway), I’m not ready to move on. I can’t start a new book. Okay, truth to be told, my next story sits at 15k, but I can’t write it now. I can’t bring myself to open my document.
I need a break. I’m empty. Totally. Once, I breathed words, I lived them, I needed them. They filled my life, pouring out of me, onto the page. Now, there is silence (It’s scary when the voices are suddenly silent!). I won’t lie and tell you that I’m not afraid. I’m just starting out, I have so many stories to write, what if the voices won’t come back?
Deep down inside of me, I know they WILL be back. A few already whisper, but they are too quiet for me to really hear them. There are stories I want to write, need to write, but first, I’m going to take a break. A week, most likely two. No writing, just reading and playing stupid online games, but I won’t open a document for the next two weeks.
I might get cranky or bitchy because of my break, so please bear with me. Maybe I find my voice back in a few days and start again with the passion once inside of me.
Have you experienced the same? What did you do about it?