But You’re Married! Hop for Visibility, Awareness and Equality

HAPHOBIAUMBRELLA2016-2Thank you for visiting my page today. It’s International Day Against Homophobia, Bi- and Transphobia. For more informations about participating blogs, please see the links below or go to Hop for Visibility, Awareness and Equality.





BiRaindrop-2“I’m bisexual.” I don’t say these words too often, but when the subject comes up, I usually tell people. The reactions are nearly always the same: “But you’re married.” “But you have kids.” “Are you sure you’re not simply a lesbian?” and so on. Always the same.

Usually, I just roll my eyes and say yes, I’m sure, but I thought IDAHOT 2016 would be a good time to talk about what it really means to be bisexual.

In theory, it’s quite simple: I’m attracted to men and women. (Okay, truth to be told, I’m pansexual, but the word isn’t known in German and I don’t intend to open THAT can of worms, so I’ll stick with bisexual).

Apparently, it’s not as easy, though. Most people think bisexuality is a phase or something you get rid of when you find a partner. Well, let me tell you, it’s not. Just because I’m married to a man doesn’t mean I can’t find other man attractive (I’m going to assume you do the same, even though you’re most likely only attracted to men OR women). I’m attracted to both. I can look at a man, admire his scruffy beard, his masculine looks, and I can see a woman, notice her hair, her inviting lips, her smile. It’s quite simple. It doesn’t mean I want to jump in bed with them (happily married, you remember?). Somehow, everyone assumes you’re having sex with men and women when you’re bisexual. Newsflash: You don’t. When you’re in a monogamous relationship, you don’t sleep around. Period. It doesn’t matter who you think looks nice. You don’t do it. I’m going to assume when you’re in a relationship, you don’t cheat as well. I wouldn’t, either. Sex and attraction are two completely different things.

So, when someone tells you they’re bisexual, try to understand what it means. Don’t jump to conclusions. And please don’t think it’s a phase. It’s not. I’ve been bisexual since I hit puberty. I don’t believe it will end any time soon (and I don’t want it to.)


Give away:


A book from my backlist or recent release.

Please comment on the post to be included in the giveaway (leave your email addy so I can contact you!)


Other blogs:
B.A. Brock

Jamie Fessenden

Rory Ni Coileain

Erica Pike (M/M)

Andrew Jericho (GAY)

Tempeste O’Riley (M/M)

The Macaronis [various]

Elin Gregory [M/M]

Alexa MIlne

Nic Starr (M/M)

Evelise Archer (MM)

Sue Brown

Elizabeth Varlet (M/M, BI, NB)

Raven J. Spencer

Sharing Links and Wisdom (REV)

Lisa Horan (REV/Multi)

Archer Kay Leah (M/M, F/F, TR, NB, BI, ACE)

Alexis Duran (M/M)

Jules Dixon

R.M. Olivia

Heloise West (M/M)

Angel Martinez (M/M GAY BI TR)

Amelia Bishop (MULTI)

Moonbeams over Atlanta – Eloreen Moon (MM, REV, MULTI)

Helena Stone (M/M )

AM Leibowitz (M/M, F/F, BI, TR, NB, REV)

L.D. Blakeley (M/M, BI)

Lila Leigh Hunter [M/M, BI]

Sharon Bidwell

Nicole Dennis (M/M, ACE, M/M/F)

Lexi Ander

Barbara G.Tarn (M/M, ACE)

Kaje Harper M/M, TR, BI


JM Snyder

Dean Pace-Frech

Kimber Vale

Jacintha Topaz (BI, F/F, M/M, TR)

Prism Book Alliance® (MULTI)

Eva Lefoy (M/M, F/F, F/M/F, BI, MULTI)

Lou Sylvre (M/M)

Anne Barwell

Viki Lyn (M/M)

Sean Michael

Remmy Duchene (MM)

Sharita Lira writing as BLMorticia M/M

Barbara Winkes (LES)

Bronwyn Heeley (m/m)

L. J. LaBarthe

VJ Summers (m/m, m/m/f)

Nikka Michaels (M/M)

Caraway Carter (LGBT)


L M Somerton (M/M)

Taylor Law (GAY)

Anastasia Vitsky (F/F, TR, BI)

Draven St. James (M/M)

A.V. Sanders (GAY, ACE, NB)

Lynley Wayne

DP Denman (GAY)

M.A. Church M/M

Andrew J. Peters GAY

Dianne Hartsock MM

M. LeAnne Phoenix M/M F/F

Cherie Noel (M/M)

Chris McHart (M/M, Bi, Trans)