IDAHOT

HAPHOBIAUMBRELLA2016-2 Thank you for visiting my page today. It’s International Day Against Homophobia, Bi- and Transphobia. For more informations about participating blogs, please see the links below or go to Hop for Visibility, Awareness and Equality.

BiRaindrop-2 “I’m bisexual.” I don’t say these words too often, but when the subject comes up, I usually tell people. The reactions are nearly always the same: “But you’re married.” “But you have kids.” “Are you sure you’re not simply a lesbian?” and so on. Always the same.

Usually, I just roll my eyes and say yes, I’m sure, but I thought IDAHOT 2016 would be a good time to talk about what it really means to be bisexual.

In theory, it’s quite simple: I’m attracted to men and women. (Okay, truth to be told, I’m pansexual, but the word isn’t known in German and I don’t intend to open THAT can of worms, so I’ll stick with bisexual).

Apparently, it’s not as easy, though. Most people think bisexuality is a phase or something you get rid of when you find a partner. Well, let me tell you, it’s not. Just because I’m married to a man doesn’t mean I can’t find other man attractive (I’m going to assume you do the same, even though you’re most likely only attracted to men OR women). I’m attracted to both. I can look at a man, admire his scruffy beard, his masculine looks, and I can see a woman, notice her hair, her inviting lips, her smile. It’s quite simple. It doesn’t mean I want to jump in bed with them (happily married, you remember?). Somehow, everyone assumes you’re having sex with men and women when you’re bisexual. Newsflash: You don’t. When you’re in a monogamous relationship, you don’t sleep around. Period. It doesn’t matter who you think looks nice. You don’t do it. I’m going to assume when you’re in a relationship, you don’t cheat as well. I wouldn’t, either. Sex and attraction are two completely different things.

So, when someone tells you they’re bisexual, try to understand what it means. Don’t jump to conclusions. And please don’t think it’s a phase. It’s not. I’ve been bisexual since I hit puberty. I don’t believe it will end any time soon (and I don’t want it to.)